Compass
by turbomagnus
Summary: The Ghost Portal is down and the denizens of the Ghost Zone are trapped in the Zone with a surprise addition, Danny Phantom, when Technus arrives to show off his latest technological creation; the Compatibility Compass. Chaos, rather predictably, ensues. DxE, KxJ13, BGxLL all included or implied.


Author's Note: The 365 Project is an experimental project to write and post at least one short every day for the next year, not including my semi-regular bi-weekly updates. Whether or not that goal can be reached, we'll see... This is The 365 Project, 10 February.

I have to confess, I probably bent the rules on this one. I actually came up with and jotted down a line last night that inspired this story, but the story itself was written today.

Disclaimer: "Danny Phantom" and all associated characters and situations are created by Butch Hartman and used for entertainment purposes without permission or intent to profit.

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"Compass"  
By; J.T. Magnus, 'Turbo'

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It was one of the rare 'peaceful' gatherings in the Ghost Zone besides the annual Christmas Truce. 'Peaceful' instead of peaceful because unlike the truce, there were no rules dictating that those present had to restrain themselves or anything, merely that fact that none of them - even Skulker - felt like fighting. What most of them felt was boredom and frustration; the Ghost Portal that most of them used to get out of the Ghost Zone was broken and so they were stuck. They were all suffering, but none of them more than the one ghost - or rather, one half-ghost - who was sitting at the bar staring into what he thought might be a glass of chocolate milk and wondering what kind of excuse Jazz, Tucker and Sam would come up with to cover his absence with him being caught in the Ghost Zone when the Portal broke. No one knew what happened, but he had a good idea; Danny Phantom, also known as Danny Fenton, had a strong feeling that his dad had gotten over-enthusiastic again and ended up catching the Portal in the crossfire.

When the door burst open, Danny and ever other ghost in the room looked up to see what was going on.

"Fellow ghosts! I, Technus, master of all technology, come to bring an end to this ennui with my latest creation," Technus stood there, framed by the doorframe as he held up... a wristwatch.

"I think the Swiss beat you to it," Danny spoke up, causing a few chuckles to make scattered appearances.

"Foolish ghost-child," Technus floated into the room, "This is no ordinary wristwatch, this is a masterpiece of modern matchmaking, the future of finding a mate... Fellow ghosts, I present to you... the Compatibility Compass!"

In the near-silence that followed, several ghosts wondered how crickets had gotten into the Ghost Zone when they heard them chirping.

Technus visibly deflated from his excitement, "You're all aware of the concept of a divining rod, correct?"

Nods answered him from various quarters of the room.

"Good," Technus continued, "Now, how many of you are familiar those internet sites where you're supposed to type in your name and that of your romantic interest and see how compatible you are."

Danny, Kitty, Youngblood and The Box Ghost were the only ones who gave affirmative answers this time.

"Well, at least you're good for something," Technus directed towards Danny, still sore over that 'Swiss' remark, "My Compatibility Compass combines those concepts of romantic compatibility and directional guidance into a device that, once placed on your wrist, projects an arrow pointing towards the person most compatible with you in the terms of a lasting romantic relationship."

No one was quite sure if Kitty had mastered the art of teleportation or what, but before anyone realised she had moved, she was standing in front of Technus, "Let me try it! Come on, Technus, let me try it! Please?"

"I suppose further testing would be prudent," Technus commented, causing Kitty to snatch the Compass out of his hand.

"Thanks, Technus!" Kitty commented as she strapped the Compass on her wrist, turning her head to give Johnny a quick glare "Maybe now I can find a boyfriend who'll actually pay attention to me! Uh... how does it work?"

"Press the button on the side," Technus sighed.

"Thanks again," she remarked as she pressed it, causing a holographic arrow to spring into existance, floating over the face of the watch.

Kitty frowned, she was expecting some big arrow floating over her head that everyone could see and instead it was just a two-inch long arrow over the watch itself, "Kind of small, isn't it?"

"Size isn't everything!" Technus shouted in response, causing a few laughs and chuckles from ghosts at his overreaction.

Kitty growled and then shouted, "Quiet! Or I'll banish you all one by one until I find who this is pointing to!"

"Hey, Tech-boy," Johnny 13 asked loudly, "What happens if that thing don't find a match or whatever?"

Technus nodded, "A good question; if there's no compatibility with anyone, the arrow won't even appear. It's a failsafe to avoid being the cause of tabloid love stories."

"So, he's here, my perfect match is here," Kitty giggled and started to walk in the direction the arrow pointed, staring down at it and ignoring everything else until she walked into something solid that made her look up and a faint disgusted look came over her face.

Skulker, for his part, grimaced and stepped to the side, not bothering to hide his relief when the arrow didn't follow his movement.

Another few feet and the Compass began to beep, causing Technus to make an announcement, "That means that you're within arm's length of your most compatible match."

Kitty frowned at the person standing in front of her, "Oh, it's you..."

"See, Kitten?" Johnny told her with a smirk, "I've been saying that even if I'm not perfect, I'm perfect for you; this proves it."

"Oh, Johnny!" Kitty exclaimed before throwing her arms around his neck.

"Best friend or not," Ember muttered, "That girl's the flightiest person I know."

Skulker walked over to the embracing couple and grabbed Kitty's arm, pulling it from around Johnny's neck so that he could remove the Compass, "Give me that, child!"

Strapping the Compass to his wrist and pressing the button, he demanded of it, "Show me my newest prey."

The arrow appeared, pointing behind Skulker, and the Compass immediately began to beep. Turning around, he frowned as it continued to point behind him. This continued for several more turns until it get a reaction from the hunter ghost.

"What is the matter with this thing?" Skulker snarled.

Johnny frowned and looked at Technus over Kitty's shoulder, "Thought you said that arrow wouldn't show up with no match?"

Technus shook his head, "It's not suppose to, no."

It was Ghostwriter who figured it out, "It seems, Skulker, that your true love is yourself."

"I coulda told you that," Ember muttered to herself, that was part of the reason that she had broke up with him.

"Bah!" Skulker spat as he ripped the Compass fron his arm and threw it through the air.

Before Technus could exert his power over technology to bring his invention back to him, The Box Ghost had hijacked it in midair. Pressing the button, the Box Ghost followed the arrow and floated down to the bar that the Lunch Lady was standing behind, pressing the button a second time to deactivate the Compass when it began to beep.

"Hi?" Box Ghost commented shyly.

"Hello, Boxey," the Lunch Lady replied with a smile.

"Oh, great," Danny muttered to himself, "Here comes the 'Boxed Lunch'..."

Both the Box Ghost and the Lunch Lady looked at him, frowning.

"What was that, ghost child?" the Box Ghost wanted to know.

"Uh," Danny quickly came up with a cover statement, "So, Technus, does this thing..."

"The Compatibility Compass!" Technus corrected sharply.

"Does this Compatibility Compass only work in the Ghost Zone," Danny continued "Or with people in the same room or what?"

"The detection range of the Compass itself is technically unlimited," Technus informed him, But it only works with people you know; no 'beautiful stranger-match made in Heaven-love at first sight' cliche."

The Lunch Lady removed the Compass from the Box Ghost's wrist and held it out to Danny, "Why don't you give it a try, dearie?"

Danny sighed, "It'll probably just point at the Ghost Portal, you know."

"The portal's not there at the moment," the Box Ghost pointed out.

"Then it will point where it's supposed to be or at some tear or something," Danny grumbled, "Everyone things Sam and I are somehow supposed to be together, why should it be any different?"

"You might be surprised, dearie," the Lunch Lady's voice then hardened, "Put it on."

Danny sighed again, "Fine."

Taking the Compass from the Lunch Lady, he strapped it on his wrist, closed his eyes and pressed the button.

"Hey!" Ember shouted, "Don't point that thing at me, dipstick!"

Danny opened his eyes, looked at the arrow and followed it with his eyes to confirm that it was pointing at Ember, despite the fact that she was moving, "I think this thing's broken, Technus, it's trying to say I'm most compatible with Miss 'I don't do duets' over there."

"It's working fine, Phantom."

"You sure?" Danny frowned, "I mean, it could be getting thrown off by the fact that I'm only half-ghost."

Technus glared back at him, offended by the insult to his technical prowess, "It shouldn't matter whether you're full ghost, a halfa or even a human, it should be working right all just the same!"

"It's obviously not, gadget-head!" Ember shouted, "How can it think I have anything in common with that dipstick? I mean, hello, I'm _Ember_, fire, flaming hair, remember? I burn things, he freezes stuff. Fire and ice don't mix!"

Kitty smirked at just how weak her friend's argument sounded before she offered up a counter-argument in support of the Compass; "He's ice and you're fire, yeah, Ember... You know what happens when fire and ice meet? They steam things up!"

Kitty laughed at the blushes that came to both Ember's and Danny's faces from where that comment took their minds.

"Besides," Johnny added to support his on-again girlfriend, "You _are_ a rock and roll star, biggest symbol of teenage rebellion, and Danny _is _kind of a teenage rebel himself since he actually gets to know ghosts instead of following his parents' methods of 'shoot first, dissect later, ask questions never'."

"Uh, well... um..." Danny stammered.

"You've both got the same taste in tight black clothes," Youngblood chimed in, pointing at the 'haz-mat suit' Danny was wearing and Ember's rocker geat.

Skulker folded his arms and glowered at the two before pointing somethingout to Ember, "You never called _me_ 'Baby-pop' when we were dating, _he's_ the only one you _ever_ call 'Baby-pop'."

Trying to distract everyone from the truth of that, Ember snapped, "Even if I'm somehow the _dipstick's_ 'perfect match', that doesn't mean he's _mine_!"

"Incorrect," Technus announced, "Without recipocity, there is no compatibility."

Youngblood looked at Technus in confusion, "Do what?"

"If he wasn't as compatible to her as she is to him," Technus simplified, "The Compass wouldn't have indicated her."

"Oh," Youngblood replied, "Why didn't you just say it has to work both ways to begin with?"

Technus groaned at the oversimplification of the concept, but nodded his agreement to it.

The Box Ghost looked at Danny with a smile on his face, "If you need help confessing feelings, I can help you pick out some very nice chocolates."

Danny was thankful for the minor distraction, "What do you know about chocolate?"

"All I need to know," the Box Ghost answered, "They come in _boxes_!"

Groaning, Danny stood up, "I'm out of here - maybe I can get Walker to throw me in a cell until the Portal's fixed."

Starting towards the door, Danny's focus was on undoing the Compass and taking it off, so he didn't notice the black shape gliding along the floor until he found himself tumbling forward and falling into Ember, knocking them both to the floor and sending the Compass flying through the air to smack against the wall. With a wail of horror, Technus dived for his invention and scooped it up, whispering apologies for its mistreatment and promises of repairs and upgrades to come, something that if anyone had been paying him attention at this point would have probably been rather creepy.

"No attraction between you two, huh?" Kitty grinned, "Looks to me like something just pulls you two together."

"Can it, Kitty!" Ember snapped at her friend, "It was your boyfriend's Shadow's fault!"

"Jumping to your boyfriend's defense, Ember?" Johnny shot back.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," Ember shouted as the same time as Danny raised his head and exclaimed, "I'm _not _her boyfriend!"

"Then why's his head in your lap?" Kitty pointed out, smirking, causing the other two ghostly teens to scramble apart, blushing even more than they had earlier.

"Any ideas on getting us out of this, dipstick?" Ember glared at him as they both stood up.

"Just one," Danny answered, taking a deep breath before opening his mouth again, but when he spoke it wasn't him...

"Hey, Youngblood!" Danny's mouth barely moved as Skulker's voice sounded over the crowd, "Ninjas are better than pirates!"

"What?" the young pirate ghost shouted, turning to look at Skulker, "I'll keel-haul you for that talk, hunter!"

Before anyone knew what was happening, Youngblood had lept through the air to launch a vigorous boarding action on Skulker's head with the intent of sinking it, distracting the crowd from Danny and Ember as Johnny offered odds on the fight while the Lunch Lady threatened to turn Skulker into her next Wednesday Lunch Surprise if he harmed 'the little dearie'.

Ember frowned at her fellow victim of Technus' invention, "How did you do that?"

Danny rubbed the back of his head nervously, "Would you believe I have no idea?"

Groaning, Ember shook her head, "You're such a dipstick..."

Danny rolled his eyes, "Just keep calling me that and not 'Baby-pop', okay?"

"Yeah," Ember retorted, "And while I'm at that, how about finding some new threads, dipstick?"

Watching the exchange from across the room, Kitty sighed, 'Ah, young love."

"Hey," Johnny whispered in his girlfriend's ear, "Howsabout we get them out with us on a double-date?"

"Oh, Johnny!" Kitty exclaimed before throwing her arms around his neck, "I love the idea!"

Then, to prove just how much she did love the idea, she promptly began to kiss him.

Nobody really noticed as the door opened again for the first time since Technus had arrived and Dani Phantom, the younger sister/cousin/clone of Danny stuck her head in, "Hey, guys, Portal's back open..."

Looking around the room, she frowned; Youngblood seemed to be trying to cut Skulker's armor off with his cutlass - switching between that and trying to chew a hole in Skulker's head with his teeth; Johnny and Kitty were in a heavy make-out session despite the fact that last Dani had heard they were on the outs again; The Box Ghost and The Lunch Lady were holding hands with each other across the bar while Technus was cradling something close to his chest... The pair that really got Dani's attention were her 'brother' and the ghost rocker that were alternating looking at each other with mixtures of annoyance and nervousness showing and looking away blushing.

"Did I miss something?" Dani asked to the room at large and recieved no answer, causing her to sigh and shake her head, "If this is what happens, I'm never growing up..."

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Author's Note: And now, the big reveal, the line that bent the rules... can I get a drum roll please?  
When Danny imitates Skulker's voice to say "Hey, Youngblood! Ninjas are better than pirates!" came to me last night and I wrote it down for future use.


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